Running Rabbit: Art and Madness: Rabbit Starts a New Year

Life has changed so much in the past year I barely recognize it anymore. That's not a bad thing actually, because a year ago I was in the death throes of doing a fantastic job for a miserable employer with impossible expectations and direction as clear as swamp mud. When they cut my hours back and back and back, I did a Pollyanna and looked for the good in the company, thinking if I had faith it would all turn out right.

I'm proud of myself. I did the honorable thing and gave 110% until the day it was all over and I was cut loose. The whole thing turned out to be an exercise in gratitude in a strange way. I discovered I wouldn't starve, even though the campus based student lending industry has died an unnatural political death across the country, leaving thousands of us with years of experience beached like dying knowledge whales whose ocean is gone.

I do believe the Universe sends us signals, and if we don't detect them, it hits us over the head with a baseball bat to get our attention. Losing my job in spite of the fact that I was at the top of my field was the baseball bat applied directly to my life--and yes, it got my attention in a big way.

I have had a studio for years and worked nights and weekends making art and life while holding a demanding straight job. I worked with complex federal regulations and made fairly whimsical art at the same time. I'm thinking in retrospect my art-making kept me sane in a world that dries people into hard-drinking hustling husks. I miss the people at the schools, universities and colleges I met all over the USA. I miss some of my peers and stay in touch with them (thanks Facebook!) and I miss hopping on airplanes and going to new places most of all.

I don't miss getting up in the morning and going to work for people I neither like or respect. I like the fact that I finally own my life and my biggest issue is what to do/make today? I believe that in 2011 I will begin to figure out how to build my "empire". A fortune teller at a Christmas party told me I need to get "people"--as in people working for me, righto. I think before I get the people I had better figure out which of my enticing paths fits me best and will perhaps help pay the bills. Money always rears its evil head, doesn't it?

Right now, right here, I like my life. I like the shape of it, the way it is beginning to unfold and show itself to me. Its like opening a package of treasures and digging through the layers to find out exactly what's in here.

I like the fact that I don't feel guilty about sitting down to write with a fountain pen in a book every day. Writing longhand is a meditation for me, it centers me and burns off that excess energy that keeps me from focusing tight and long.

I like sitting at my kitchen table and looking out the conveniently beautiful picture window at the plethora of winter birds at the feeders and birds splashing in the waterfall at the top of the pond. The dogs are curled in heaps at my feet and a cup of coffee tastes lovely as I work. Sure the builders lost an entire wall in the kitchen when they put a picture window in, but I think its worth it. Its like having the outside inside with me all year round.

The bright tablecoth is the one that Torin and I and Terry picked out in Solvang, California during Terry's first furlough when he was undergoing rehab for traumatic brain injury. It was a family promise between ourselves that we would all be back together and at home someday. The warm colors just make the room glow on this gray winter day. I have a silver metal Mexican tree on the table with my favorite wacky little salt shakers hung on it, and I can't bear to peel off the amazing snow flakes I cut out of shiny origami paper and stuck on the window. I got a book on papercutting and went to town, completely fun and now I'm wondering what else I can do with those paper cuts...hmmm.

My coffee cup, courtesy of GoodWill, has a running rabbit and a butterfly on it. The handle is a ceramic twig and it makes me happy to sip my French press cafe creme from it. I have a little red fountain pen and a big black Waterman fountain pen and I love them both along with the latest notebook. I have been journaling for years and years and sometimes I'll read the old journals and be completely surprised at who I was and what I wrote.

Today I finished by making a list of what I want to accomplish in the next few months. I love lists, I live by lists and checking things off is a great exercise in feeling accomplished. First up, a new website and a newblog. I hope to combine everything I'm doing in one place to make it easy and convenient to find recipes, instructions, fun crafts, jewelry. All the things I want to share and others may enjoy sharing.

That reminds me, last but not least. I am going to create a blueberry crepe cake tonight and post the instructions on my blog for all those who have been asking me for the 411 on crepes. So stay tuned for that how-to with photos.